What’s normal, Corie?

I have no idea how to get over the feeling of missing somebody. 

Or something.

Or someplace.

Or some time.

I have a close friend who lost her mom.

She never gets to see her. Ever. She must miss her everyday.

How does she deal with that?

I have several close friends who lost one of their close friends.

They were so used to her being around, being there, everyday, being funny, being smart, being stupid too–”dealing” with her. But, they liked to deal with her. They didn’t LIKE it….but they were used to it. Because they loved her. And they knew that she was a good person. They knew she had good intentions. They knew she would pick herself back up here at some point, and get “on the right track”. They knew she was just having a rough go of it. She had been for a few years now. And then one day, they realized….that they didn’t know where she was anymore. And to them, it felt like she kept getting further and further out of reach.

I read books, I watch television, I spend time with friends, I take drives that I sometimes feel guilty for, but at other times I know that I really NEED them. Because during them, I sometimes feel really good about things.

I make the same jokes, and I get the same laughs, and I notice when people talk to me hesitantly. I notice when they internally wonder….”what’s been going ON with her…?”

I’m just ready to go back to normal.

But it occurred to me, that I have no idea what that is.