How do I say this….

I think it mostly goes without saying, that as children…of parents…we don’t generally look forward to any point in time where we have to deliberately disappoint our parents. I don’t think anyone ever TRIES or WANTS to do that. It’s not something that is enjoyable to do.

Just…it’s not.

But I think after that consensus is agreed upon, we can begin to make divisions, on the kinds of people we are. Or…who we have been made into.

I think there are two different types of children: 1.) Those that are not afraid of what their parents will think of them or the decisions they have made. They tell their parents most everything that goes on in their life, they feel no shame or need to make any secrets of anything. They realize that their parents may not approve of certain decisions or lifestyle choices, but they also are aware that they have taken themselves to a point in life where they are completely in charge of where the rest of theirs is going. It’s no longer their parents decision. It’s theirs. They are adults. They do what they want.

2.) These, are the other types. Down here. The ones who….aren’t quite what the children up above us are. We…are painfully afraid of telling our parents most everything that goes on in our lives. Not because we are ashamed of it, or embarrassed by it…..or even regret it. But because we are just afraid that they won’t understand. That they will be mad at us. That they will be disappointed in us. Again. We were raised around dinner tables and before and after church services. We had the perfect families with the perfect lives and the perfect houses. Our parents did everything they were supposed to do to raise us right. They followed ALL the rules in the Bible. Those people above us up there, their parents….they didn’t even take their kids to church! They divorced multiple times! They smoke and drank and their children KNEW ABOUT IT! So why is it that they have better relationships with their sons and daughters than ours have with us?

It’s a question I’ve looked at a lot over the last few years. Not just because of or even specifically in relation to my own, personal experiences. But because of the experiences I watch my friends have. I watch my friends who were raised in the same kinds of households I was raised in. And then I watch those who were raised in the OPPOSITE kind of household I was raised in. And I’m not saying anything about how that contributes to who a child grows up to be. 

I don’t know what I’m saying, actually.

So maybe I’ll just stop saying things.

 

 

….Nah. What fun would THAT be?